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July 27, 2006

Taking a Breather

Well, this is the first chance I have had to sit down and post something at work in a few days. (other than the controversy I started on the post below).

As I posted about a week ago, my work load has more than doubled and I haven't left work before 7:30 all week long. But, today, I have a forced break. In February, H, S & I were added to the list of "sub-human hourly people" who get to spend one hour one day every two weeks covering the front desk phones while the receptionist goes to lunch. Flash forward 5 months and there are now only 5 people on that list, so that means we are now sitting at the front desk once a week. Heaven forbid, someone gets sick or goes on vacation.

Well, someone did go on vacation. She had every right to go on vacation. I wish I had vacation time to go on vacation. But, since the other 3 girls refused to cover her "phone day", I am up here. Monday, I was up here and then I went back to work. No biggie. But today, I went to the dentist (a new one, and DAMN CUTE I MIGHT ADD). Then I drove thru Wendy's and got back to the office just long enough to clock in, put my purse down at my desk, and come back up to the front desk.

So, I sit here and wait... and answer the phones... the maybe 10 times they have rang in the past hour. I sat down, and the receptionist went to the restroom, delivered some faxes and some packages, ran around the office, and I don't think she actually finally left for lunch for a good 20 minutes.

Our IT department isn't comprised of the brightest bulbs in the chandelier. Nope, I can't work while I sit here and wait for the phones to ring. They can't figure out how to get our files to follow our logins and wont give us server space so we can work... so I just SIT HERE.

Three weeks ago, I complained about SITTING here all day long. I must say, although I have so much work I can't see straight, I'm actually enjoying my job now that I have a Job to do. And, yes... after two weeks of working like crazy... I am still complaining when I'm forced to take a breather.

Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 03:02 PM | Comments (4)

July 26, 2006

NOT GUILTY

Today a jury in Houston did the right thing. They found Andrea Yates not guilty by reason of insanity in the drowning of her 5 children. This verdict has slightly renewed my faith in the justice system.

Now, the powers that be need to get their heads out of their rears and put that ASSHOLE ex-husband Rusty Yates in prison for the rest of his life. Cause he is not only the reason his 5 children are dead, but also the reason his ex-wife's life is essentially over as she knew it. He killed her mind and she killed her kids. And he is 100% to blame.

Put him in a bathtub full of water and forget to turn off the faucet.

Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 12:37 PM | Comments (7)

July 24, 2006

Talented!

I'm a Talent!

You're a risk-taker, and you follow your passions. You're determined to take on the world and succeed on your own terms. Whether in the arts, science, engineering, business, or politics, you fearlessly express your own vision of the world. You're not afraid of a fight, and you're not afraid to bet your future on your own abilities. If you find a job boring or stifling, you're already preparing your resume. You believe in doing what you love, and you're not willing to settle for an ordinary life.

Talent: 51%
Lifer: 38%
Mandarin: 46%

Take the Talent, Lifer, or Mandarin quiz.

Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 12:18 PM | Comments (0)

July 22, 2006

Since I Brought Work Home Again

For the 2nd weekend in a row, I don't have time for a real post... but I was told last night (Hi Ma!) that my blog was confusing because it was always the same stuff... (I guess that means I don't post often enough now).

So, I stole this little ditty from Football Widow, who stole it from Kami, who stole it from Memphis Steve.

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops? No

2. Do you close your eyes on roller coasters? I can't like roller coasters. I am deathly scared of heights and my cousin Jace drug me on two roller coasters last August. It was then when the numbness in my body intensified tenfold and I was diagnosed with my Chiari three days later. I can't like roller coasters.

3. When's the last time you've been sledding? Never, hell, I've never seen snow!

4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone? Truthfully, I'd rather someone be on the other side of the bed... but as long as I have my body pillow, I'm ok.

5. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes.

6. Do you consider yourself creative? Not one bit.

7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife? Yes, and I believe that Ken Lay is stil alive and living on an island somewhere.

8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie? Jen

9. Do you stay friends with your exes? For some crazy reason, I am currently friends with a lot of my exes.

10. Do you know how to play poker? I can play poker but not Texas Two-Step Poker. And Football Widow!!! I'm a NON-Aggie and I will take you up on a game of 42.

11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? Yeah. The second semester of my freshman year at Baylor. I remember this like it was yesterday. After not sleeping at all Tuesday night, I had an Organic Chemistry test at 9am on Wed, then at 11am I had a Calculus test, then at 2pm I had a Political Science Test. Then I went home and started studying. Thursday at 11am I had a Health test and at 2pm I had an American History test. When I left that test I went home and called my mom crying and told her to pick me up from the airport (I didn't have a car at the time).. I was coming home... I didn't care if I missed class on Friday.

12. What's your favorite commercial? The Ocean Spray commercial with the dork who says you shouldn't drink your lawn.

13. What are you allergic to? Stupid people & Lettuce.

14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around do you run red lights? Only if I think someone is following me, that way I hope a cop sees me so I can tell him to check out the person behind me.

15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you? Nope. If you don't know, its probably only because the subject never came up.

16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees? ASTROS!!!!

17. Have you ever been Ice Skating? No, but I love to Roller Skate.

18. How often do you remember your dreams? Only the ones when someone died. Then I worry about them for the next couple of days until they actually do.

19. When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried? It has been a while... I could probably use a good laugh like that.

20. Can you name 5 songs by The Beatles? At least.

21. What's the one thing on your mind now? Will I ever catch up on all this work I have at work?

22. Do you know who Ghetto-ass barbie is? Nope!

23. Do you always wear your seat belt? Yes.

24. What cell service do you use? Verizon, for internet too.

25. Do you like sushi? Yes.

26. Have you ever narrowly avoided a fatal accident? Yes.

27. What do you wear to bed? Pj's and I have to have my hair in a ponytail.

28. Been caught stealing? No.

29. What shoe size do you have? It depends on the cheapness of the shoes. Anywhere between a 7 1/2 and a 9.

30. Do you truly hate anyone? Yes. Shrub-man

31. Classic Rock or Rap? Classic Rock. I can't stand that other (c)Rap

32. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be? Dylan McDermott

33. Favorite Song? Ever? So, bye bye Miss American Pie.

34. Have you ever sang in front of the mirror? Yes

35. What food do you find disgusting? Bologna & Hot Dogs and any canned meat product like Spam or Vienna Sausages. Oh yeah.. and any cheese product that doesn't need to be refrigerated.

36. Do you sing in the shower? Yes.

37. Did you ever play, "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours"? No. I don't think so.

38. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back? Not seriously.

39. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew? Yes.

40. Have you ever been punched in the face? No!

Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 10:41 AM | Comments (1)

July 21, 2006

And They Said Ouija Boards Were Weird

Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 09:37 AM | Comments (0)

July 20, 2006

Headless Chicken

In case you have noticed that I haven't post much more than jokes lately is because of the fact that I feel like that picture. I've turned into a chicken with my head cut off. If someone finds it, please bring it back to me.

The last week of June I found out a juicy tidbit at work. My friend H was going to turn in her notice later that day. She didn't tell anyone else until we returned to work after the 4th of July.

And then all of a sudden I realized what this meant. Some of you might remember my pleas for emails, excel spreadsheets to fix or anything to do because I was BORED at work... well no more. I am now living proof that you need to be careful about what you wish for.

I used to have 8 contracts that I was in charge of on a monthly basis. Well, H's last day was last Friday... and as of Monday... I now have TWENTY TWO contracts that I am in charge of on a monthly basis.

And unfortunately, they aren't all the same type of contracts that I have been used to ... no, they are for another product that is run on a completely different schedule. Can you say fun?

Anyway... so if you noticed that I haven't been around, blogging or commenting as much as I used to... well, you know why. Hopefully after a month of this I will learn what each contract entails and be able to budget my time more correctly and have more time to hang out in blogworld.

Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 09:09 PM | Comments (1)

July 19, 2006

BathTub

The Bathtub Test

It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started. During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"

Did you pass, or do you want the bed next to mine?

Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 09:26 AM | Comments (2)

July 15, 2006

Mental Hospital Phone Menu

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the MotherShip.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 04:51 PM | Comments (6)

July 11, 2006

Here We Go Again

When we left the concert Sunday night my ears and head were stuffed up. I thought it was just because it was so loud in there & my natural reaction to all the "special" smoke in the air.

But yesterday at work, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Muscle aches, ear aches, sneezing, coughing, and all around feeling like crap. I went home from work last night, ate a baked sweet potato and went straight to bed.

I went back to my PCP today. I've got ANOTHER sinus infection & ANOTHER ear infection. I got another one of those thick coolwhip burning shots in the butt & 14 days of antibiotics.

When I got back to work I called the "SpeakUp" Ethics Hotline for my work and reported the "powers that be." There are approximately 75 people in this building, and at least 50 of us complain on a DAILY basis that it is too freaking cold. There are a few men in the building in big offices with windows. They keep their jackets on all day and their blinds open and complain of being hot. The office is kept between 68-71 degrees, which is a good 7-10 degrees too cold if you ask me.

The rest of us. We don't have windows. We wear long sleeves & summer sweaters. We have space heaters. We have quilts & blankets. We have socks & houseshoes that we put on when we get to work so our feet dont freeze in our summer dressy sandals. And it's supposed to be 100 degrees today.

I am out of sick time. I don't really have the money to be spending on antibiotics & lost work hours. I had walking pneumonia in December. I had bronchitis & an ear infection in June. Here it is July 11th and I'm sick again.

I'm just about ready to make up an invoice for all of my missed hours, doctor's visit co-pays, prescriptions, & $ spent on soup, Vicks, Gatorade & boxes of Kleenex.... and take it to the office manager in his "hot office."

I'm SICK! of This.

Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 12:54 PM | Comments (3)

July 10, 2006

Kryptonite

Last night, MRF and I went to a concert. Friday at work the assistant to the President of the company emailed and asked if anyone wanted concert tickets. They were great reserved seats as close to center stage in the second section back as you could get.

We went and saw Scooter Jennings, 3 Doors Down & Lynyrd Skynyrd at Smirnoff Music Centre.

After being there only minutes, I text messaged Kami and FootballWidow, kicking myself because there were so many FUG opportunities and all I had was my crappy camera phone.

I was appauled at how many well endowed "original"* fans of Lynyrd had decided to show up in "dental floss & bandaid" string bikinis and denim shorts that were not buttoned that the top. I tried to get pictures, but it was so late last night when we got home that I just didn't have the energy to attempt to email them to myself and see if any of it was salvagable.

* and by original fans I mean old enough to have been at their first concert, and their shorts weren't buttoned because their guts were in the way.

Ok, I will admit, and you can all laugh at me that I didn't have a clue who 3 Doors Down was, but they were buy far the best performers of the night, and I was surprised how many songs I knew of a group I had never heard of.

But, one thing is for certain... going to a concert at 7pm on a Sunday night, smelling Marijuana smoke all night, and then having to drive all the way back home to the country... is like

Kryptonite for me on Monday morning.

Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 09:39 AM | Comments (4)

July 09, 2006

New Virus Warning

BUENOS DIAS!!!

JOU HAVE YUST RECEIBED A MEHICAN BYRUS.

SIN WE NO HABE SO GOOD TECHNIOLOGICALLY ADBANCE IN MEHICO, DEES IS A MANUAL BYRUS.

PLEESES DELETE ALL JOUR FILES ON JOUR HARD-DRIVE JOURSELF AND SEND THEES E-MAIL TO EBERYONE JOU KNOW.

TANK JOU FOR HALPING ME.

JULIO MANUEL JOSE RODRIGUEZ-GARCIA
----MEXICAN HACKER---

Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 03:27 PM | Comments (0)

July 07, 2006

Common Courtesy?

Some of you may remember that I was supposed to go to a sleep study on a Friday night a couple of weeks ago. They called and canceled it about 8 hours before I was supposed to check in, due to the fact that the tech had a death in the family. We rescheduled for tonight.

At 2:52 today they called me to inform me that I had a $400 deductible that I should be ready to pay when I checked in at 9pm. Hmm, what is that? 6 hours notice?

They have had this sleep study scheduled for AT LEAST FOUR FREAKING WEEKS! And they give me 6 hours notice? Are you kidding me?

Needless to say, I canceled it. Had they given me some notice, I probably could have fanagled my finances around to pay the damn thing, or at least half of it. But since they didn't bother telling me until today... then I'm not even gonna bother.

What happened to common courtesy?

Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 04:08 PM | Comments (3)

July 05, 2006

Making My Blood Boil

Ok... another search term that is landing people on my blog from google is Serv Safe Cheat.

These LOSERS! are looking for a way to cheat on the Serv Safe Management exam... the exam that certifies chefs & restaurant managers in safety and sanitation. Aren't you glad they are so dedicated to their jobs that they are spending time on the internet trying to find cheats instead of, oh, I don't know... studying?

I took the class, I didn't study... and I only missed 2 questions on the entire test. It isn't that damn hard. So you LOSER ASSHATS who are landing here on my blog trying to find a way to cheat on the Serv Safe exam, I have one thing to say...

May you get a nasty case of Salmonella and a chaser of the Norwalk Virus.

Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 06:37 PM | Comments (4)

Yeah Right!

Enron founder Ken Lay dead of heart attack.

I believe this just about as much as I believe that Elvis is alive. Those prosecutors better demand to see a body.

He's probably just bought himself an island somewhere and faked this.

Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 09:55 AM | Comments (2)

July 04, 2006

What It Really Means

I Pledge Allegiance - By Red Skelton

"I've been listening to you boys and girls recite the Pledge of Allegiance all semester and it seems as though it is becoming monotonous to you. If I may, may I recite it and try to explain to you the meaning of each word?"

~I~
me, an individual, a committee of one.

~Pledge~
dedicate all of my worldly goods to give without self pity.

~ Allegiance~
my love and my devotion.

~To the flag~
our standard, Old Glory, a symbol of freedom. Wherever she waves, there's respect because your loyalty has given her a dignity that shouts freedom is everybody's job!

~United ~
that means that we have all come together.

~States~
individual communities that have united into 48 great states. Forty-eight individual communities with pride and dignity and purpose; all divided with imaginary boundaries, yet united to a common purpose, and that's love for country.

~And to the republic~
a state in which sovereign power is invested in representatives chosen by the people to govern. And government is the people and it's from the people to the leaders, not from the leaders to the people.

~For which it stands, one nation~
one nation, meaning "so blessed by God"

~Indivisible~
incapable of being divided.

~With liberty~
which is freedom; the right of power to live one's own life without threats, fear or some sort of retaliation.

~And Justice~
the principle or quality of dealing fairly with others.

~For all~
which means, boys and girls, it's as much your country as it is mine.

Since I was a small boy, two states have been added to our country and two words have been added to the Pledge of Allegiance...

UNDER GOD

*if you click on the link above, it will play an audio clip of Red Skelton's speech.

He knew what it meant. Too many of us have forgotten. Especially those who have been elected (or stole) public office.

I'm still proud that I live in America, I'm just not proud of what America has become. It hurts me to say that, but, we have some serious issues, and it is going to take serious people to fix them. Part of me has even thought about figuring out a way to get involved to change the things that I don't like and that shouldn't have ever been. But, in my Skewed Reality, I realize... I'm just little ole me.

Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 09:53 AM | Comments (1)