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May 25, 2006
Soul Patrol

This is the first year I have ever watched American Idol... and my favorite from day one actually WON last night.
WooWoo!
Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 09:52 AM | Comments (2)
May 24, 2006
Have You...

Go Soul Patrol!
That is all.
Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 02:10 PM | Comments (0)
May 22, 2006
Please Pray For Connor

*UPDATED TO ADD, AGAIN* I had the honor of driving to the hospital, eating dinner with Barbara and hubby and I got to spend about 15 minutes in NICU with Connor. What a sweet and darling little boy. He kept making shapes with his mouth like he wanted so much to tell us something. I promised him I would come back and visit soon. His mom is supposed to be sending me pictures to post on here for all of you to see.
*UPDATED TO ADD* Baby Connor was transfered to the NICU in a hospital in DFW today. Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers.
In April of last year I was honored to be a bridesmaid in my friend Barbara's wedding. She married a wonderful guy and they are the absolute cutest couple.
In October of last year we were excited to hear that this perfect couple were expecting a baby. Those of us on her mailing list were getting fairly regular updates and expecting a baby in July.
Saturday afternoon, while I was at home packing for the move, Barbara called me to get my address for a Baby Shower invitation. I thought her voice sounded worried and then she told me. She said that in the commotion she had lost my phone number and had been needing to get a hold of me for about a month.
Baby Connor was born on April 18th, three months early. Things were very touch-n-go for the first few weeks. He was only 2 lbs. 11oz. They are caring for him at the hospital in Waco until he gains some more weight and then they are going to transfer him to a Children's Hospital in DFW.
Connor is up to 3 pounds 8 ounces and Barbara is able to hold him for two hours a day. They are having to do lumbar punctures almost daily to help alleviate the fluid pressure on his brain. Barbara is living close to the hospital and her husband is only able to come over on Wednesday nights and weekends due to work.
Please offer up all the prayers and good wishes and vibes for these two sweet people and their darling baby.
She said she will send pictures, I will post one if she says it is ok. She was a regular reader of the blog and an infrequent commenter.
Barbara, if you see this, I love you and hubby. The two of you have been in my prayers since the day you told me Connor was on his way. I have called a few friends and now my blog friends and we are all praying for Connor to gain weight and get better soon.
Call me if you need anything at all. I will do anything I can.
Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 05:00 PM | Comments (6)
FEMA Genie

A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the Texas plains without water.
His horse has already died of thirst.
He's crawling through the sand, certain that he has breathed his last breath, when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him.
He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what looks to be an old briefcase.
He opens it and out pops a genie.
But this is no ordinary genie.
She is wearing an FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency) ID badge and a dull gray dress.
There's a calculator in her pocketbook.
She has a pencil tucked behind one ear.
"Well, cowboy," says the genie... "You know how I work....You have three wishes."
"I'm not falling for this." said the cowboy... "I'm not going to trust a FEMA genie."
"What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation, and it looks like you're a goner anyway!"
The cowboy thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie is right.
"OK! , I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of food and drink."
***POOF***
The cowboy finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen, and he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.
"OK, cowpoke, what's your second wish."
"My second wish is that I was rich beyond my wildest dreams."
***POOF***
The cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.
"OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one!"
After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy says...
"I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need me."
***POOF***
He turned into a tampon.
The moral of the story:
If the government offers you anything, there's going to be a string attached.
Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 11:43 AM | Comments (2)
May 18, 2006
Jim and Edna
Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.
One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom
and pulled Jim out.
When the Director of Nursing became aware of Edna's heroic act, she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news.
The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.
The bad news is that Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in his bathroom with the belt of his robe right after
you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead!"
Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself; I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"
Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 03:57 PM | Comments (2)
A FUG for Teenagers
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Last Sunday, while spending Mother's Day in TheCountry, we had a large get-together with the residents. The couple who cooked lunch for everyone had company visiting. Their son, daughter, son-in-law, daughter-in-law, and 5 grandchildren came to visit. Today, I am going to FUG the oldest grandchild.

Ok.
First of all, we have ShowerShoes. Not flipflops girls, shower shoes and they are brown and dont match anything she has on.
Secondly, LEGGINGS PEOPLE! LEGGINGS! Isn't 1995 over? And they are capri leggings with lacey trim around the bottom.
Third, a way too short and too tight blue jean skirt.
Fourth, a long tshirt dress with thick horizontal strips and a SILVER BELT THAT IS HANGING!
The only thing I do have to say was... damn she had a cute haircut.
Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 08:10 AM | Comments (4)
May 16, 2006
It's getting ugly.
This morning, from a cave somewhere in Pakistan, Taliban Minister of Migration, Mohammed Omar, warned the United States that if military action against Iraq continues, Taliban authorities will cut off America's supply of convenience store managers. And if this action does not yield sufficient results, cab drivers will be next, followed by Dell customer service reps.
Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 10:52 PM | Comments (1)
Waste Of Space Monday - Ruined TV
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Waste of Space Monday is the superfun blog game, the brain child of Tammy of Rant & Ravin' Haven fame where we weekly highlight this week's idiots, where we share with the world why people are stupid. Kinda like Tammy's version of The Darwin Awards.
You know who I'm talking about. Those people who:
~ Are criminals.
~ Drink and drive.
~ Park their "ride" in 2 spaces so they don't get their stupid cars scratched.
~ Yell at helpless cashiers who are really just doing their jobs.
~ Anyone who is just a total moron.
I'm sure you can come up with more. If you find a complete waste of space, plese play long. Pictures are welcome as are links to stories about these morons.
_____________________________________________________________
Ok. I know it's Tuesday and all but, it was late and I was too drugged up to post this last night.
I left work and headed home. I met my mother at my apartment, popped my Xanax the Headache Guru gave me, and headed to my MRIs knowing full well that my trusty DVR was set to tape this week's Part 1 of 2 of the Season Finale of Two and a Half Men.
We get to the MRI clinic about 4:20, it was nearly 5:20 before they called me back. Three MRIs later I finally got to leave. I was starving! My mother and I then proceeded to Pappasitos where I had some amazingly good Fish Tacos (MommyMe, Cara and Kami... HUSH!)
I got home and it was about 8:50pm. I sat down on the couch and hit the button for my DVR. What did I see? The last 20 minutes of How I Met Your Mother and only the first 10 minutes of the show I had set the damn thing to tape.
Why did my DVR tape the wrong show? Why? WHY?
Because THIS NIMROD WAS ON TV!

UGH!
Get that damn Republican-Nazi-Curious-George-Puppet-Looking-Freak-Anti-Christ-Terrorist OFF MY TV!
I just went to the website for Two & A Half Men and apparently now there is a wedding being planned. I missed a proposal on one of my favorite TV shows because the SHRUB was on TV. (and of course, there had to be a blooper reel)
(and I heard he messed up the first 20 minutes of 24 too)
Duh-Bull-Eew.... yep, you are a WASTE OF SPACE!
Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 02:04 PM | Comments (5)
May 14, 2006
Mother's Day In TheCountry

I stayed home Friday night and took myself out to dinner. MRF called and asked me to come out to TheCountry and go with them to the track the next morning. I was so tired, I unfortunately had to disappoint him and stay home.
Saturday I spent most of the day resting, doing laundry, straightening up my apartment, coloring my hair and doing "me stuff" that I just hadn't done in a while. I have gone out to the country every weekend since Easter and I needed a night at home.
While I was at home resting, MRF was at Texas Motor Speedway having the time of his life driving the #40 Nascar 10 laps around the track at speeds in excess of 158mph. His dad captured a lot of it on video and after watching the dash-cam, we noticed that he actually passed 5 cars. He was the last car to enter the track and came in 4th (1 disqualification). I found out later that they had 2 extra tickets and I could have driven too if I had gone.
Saturday about 6pm I finally left for TheCountry and MRF and I went and ate at a little hole-in-the-wall Mexican restaurant "in town" for dinner. We sat up till about 11:30 watching MythBusters before I fell asleep.
Today we got up and went and ate breakfast at another little hole-in-the-wall "in town" and then sat around the Rec Room and socialized with the rest of the residents. One of the couples brought up their grill and cooked about 50 hamburger patties and had all the fixings ready and fed lunch to just about everyone in the park.
While waiting for lunch few of us went walking around the pond to see the ducks and watch for any mutant frogs. This mama duck was hiding under a bench and hopefully soon there will be some more ducklings around.

After lunch, we watched the 4 hour MythBusters marathon and the DixieChicks on 60 Minutes before I got my stuff together and drove home.
I've been finishing straightening up my apartment, catching up on my blog and email reading and doing a little posting since I got home. My new MRIs for HeadacheGuru are scheduled for tomorrow at 5:00pm. My mom will be here to drive me to and from, since I fully intend to dope myself up on some Xanax.
Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 11:04 PM | Comments (0)
Happy Mother's Day Mama

Happy Mother's Day Mama. I wish I could have been there with you today but I know I will see you tomorrow afternoon. Be careful driving up here. I love you.
Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 09:34 PM | Comments (1)
The Epitome of the Double Entente
Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while, when he came into the house and asked her, "Grandma, what is that called when 2 people are sleeping in the same room and one is on top of the other?"
Grandma was a little taken aback at first, but decided to tell him the truth. "It's called sexual intercourse, darling." Little Tony just said, "Oh, OK," and went back outside to talk and play with the other kids.
A little while later Little Tony came back in and said in a grumpy voice, "Grandma, it is not called sexual intercourse. It's called Bunk Beds. And Jimmy's mom wants to talk to you."
Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 09:20 PM | Comments (1)
Weigh In Wednesday - Does This Count
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Yesterday, I got on the scale and just about fell off. I couldn't believe that it was actually down 5 pounds from last week. But then I remembered one small detail.
Wednesday morning when I woke up I got on the scale. Wednesday afternoon I got my hair cut. Wednesday evening, I got back on the scale. Valeri had cut TWO POUNDS of hair off of my head. Thanks Valeri!
Does this count?
PS. Here's a pic of my new do'

Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 09:12 PM | Comments (4)
May 12, 2006
You Will Actually Feel This

Wax is not your friend!
CAUTION: Be prepared to laugh out loud...I laughed till I almost cried as I could just see this happening!
All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax.
My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, and play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours:
"Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet."
So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out.
(YA THINK!?!)
So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax," yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull.
It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.
With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet.
Using the same procedure, I apply the one strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my *hoo-hoo* and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!!
I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!
Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP!! Everything is swirly and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...Do I hear crashing drums???
Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal.
I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???
Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. CRAP! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair.
Then I make the next BIG mistake. Remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. DANG!!!!!!!! I hear the slamming of a cell door.
“Hoo-Hoo*?? Sealed shut!
Butt?? Sealed shut!
I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!"
What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!!
I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??? WRONG!!!!!!!
I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.
Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.
So, now I'm stuck to! the bottom of the tub as though I had cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!
I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and have some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter - “So, my butt and who-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!"
There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or who-ha?"
She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.
YEAH!!!!! Right!!
I should be the joke of someone else's night.
While we go through various solutions. I re sort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!
By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event. My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax.
What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. IT WORKS!! It works!!
I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair.... THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!
So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point. Next week I'm going to try hair color......Now that’s funny........ Not!!!!!!!
Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 01:54 PM | Comments (2)
Cross Your Fingers

The three of us in my department were sitting together talking about our latest round of changes that we get to go back and redo everything for when our boss walked up. He pointed to me and H and said that he was aware that it was time for our "annual reviews."
He said he was going to be out of town next week but he would get us when he got back. H quickly asked if we could take him to lunch today, hehe.
Keep your fingers crossed that this turns out good.
Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 11:32 AM | Comments (0)
May 09, 2006
Woman's Yearly Exam

I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. The nurse starts with certain basics.
How much do you weigh?" she asks.
"135," I say. The nurse puts me on the scale.
It turns out my weight is 185.
The nurse asks, "Your height?" "5 foot 8," I say.
The nurse checks and sees that I only measure 5' 3".
She then takes my blood pressure and tells me it is very high.
"Of course it's high!" I scream, "When I came in here I was tall and slender! Now I'm short and fat!"
She put me on Prozac.
Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 09:47 PM | Comments (3)
How To Get Rid Of Worms

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.
Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.
At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:
The first worm in alcohol - Dead.
The second worm in cigarette smoke - Dead.
Third worm in chocolate syrup - Dead.
Fourth worm in good clean soil - Alive.
So the Minister asked the congregation - What can you learn from this demonstration?
A little old woman in the back quickly raised her hand and said,
"As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!"
Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 02:12 PM | Comments (1)
May 08, 2006
Weigh In Wednesday - On Tuesday
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Ok. I said last week that I was going to go buy a scale. I did, but I didn't buy a damn 9volt battery. I bought it today on my way home from work.
The scale was 3 pounds less than the scale at that diet center showed a week ago Thursday.
Now that I have a working scale at home, I should be back on track weighing in on my original date... Saturday!
Ok. Total = 6 pounds. 75 to go.
Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 09:04 PM | Comments (1)
Episode # 4 "Breakthru" 2006 Season of

As The Tonsil Falls
Ok, well I just got back from another new neurologist. I have to say that my appointment with "HeadacheGuru" was by far the most productive doctor's appointment I have had since I was diagnosed with Chiari last August.
We have scheduled retests of my MRIs for Brain and C-Spine. We ran blood work today and are rescheduling my nerve conduction study.
He wants to start over. For once I hear someone say, ok, so you have had three neurosurgeons tell you that you are borderline. Lets see why they think you are borderline. Hmm, well you have all these other diagnoses that if are valid, and you have the Chiari Decompression surgery, will not be cured and then you will be pissed. Um, yeah! I would. The problem was that he didn't see any direct correlations to believe all the original diagnoses. He saw a lot of lose ends. Lose ends that if they could be tied to something else, could explain a lot about the Chiari and anything else that might be wrong with me.
The problems he saw were:
First of All: I'm only 31, I've never been exposed to heavy metals, don't have diabetes, don't have thyroid problems, there is absolutely no reason for me to have polyneuropathy. The polyneuropathy was diagnosed last October by "TheDrugDealer."
This was the biggest red flag for "HeadacheGuru." Numbness and tingling in the extremities are a symptom both of chiari and polyneuropathy... but they are two separate conditions. Polyneuropathy means nerve damage, Chiairi is because of high cerebralspinal fluid flow pressure and compression of the brain stem. If the numbness is indeed from the chiari, the polyneuropathy tests that he performs will come back negative. After looking at the numbers from my previous test, he didn't think it was a true positive and wants to do the test himself.
Secondly: Carpal Tunnel: probably a valid diagnosis considering my extensive computer use (and the extra use of my hands in college doing sign language), but... that doesn't explain the numbness in my legs and feet. Last Thursday night I had like a foot/toe cramp in my left foot, except that it didn't hurt. It was just like my smallest three toes were just paralyzed and frozen straight out and I couldn't move them.
Thirdly: My headaches. Diagnosed as migraines but from the headache journal that I had to fill out the past week, it seems like my headaches have a lot to do with pressure. Especially since I experienced relief from Biofreeze. And the location and that they move and all. After the other tests are completed we are finally going to do a cineMRI to test for pressure.
I am going back on Zonegran now that all of the other drugs are out of my system. I am also going to start another new drug, Namenda, (an Alzheimer's drug) as an off-label use for migraine prevention. He said that this new drug should not have many side effects, because afterall it was designed and formulated for 80yr old AD patients.
Another aspect of my migraines and pressure, is that yesterday, after working in my yard for a couple of hours, I had the first nose bleed I have had in probably 10 years.
The "HeadacheGuru" wants me to consider Botox injections which are now being widely used to help with Chronic Daily Headaches. The problem here is that it usually takes 6 - 8 weeks to get an answer from insurance companies on whether or not they will cover it, and 90% of the time they deny the claim. Botox treatment costs about $2,000 every 3 months.
And Lastly: He wants to see the new MRIs compared to the ones that I have been carrying around with me for the last 9 months. If the tonsil as fallen, exactly how it is hanging, and if I possibly could have developed a syrinx which would better explain the drastic worsening of the numbness and headaches.
Also, after reading about Chiari on the many websites and emails in the support group, it looks as though most people are given two measurements, since there are two tonsils that can herniate thru the foramen magnum. After the original MRI, I was only given one measurement of 8mm. We would like to know where the other one is: is it in its normal position? has it fallen and wasn't noticed? is it laying across the foramen magnum blocking fluid flow?
Then he said after we get the smoke cleared, the tests redone and a new starting ground that he would also be sending me back to "TaperGuy" for treatment with my Obstructive Sleep Apnea, as sleep disorders are his specialty.
There was a lot talked about in my appointment today and I wish I would have taken a tape recorder to remember it all.
Stay tuned for to next Monday, May 15th for the next episode: Episode #5 "New MRIs" of As The Tonsil Falls.
Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 11:40 AM | Comments (3)
May 07, 2006
Moving

I just got home from spending the weekend in TheCountry again. Friday after work I unloaded about 15 boxes into my apartment and today I am going to start filling them up. My lease on this condo is up on June 15th and I am ready to quit having to deal with my landlords "1800s Barbie and Ken," although that is a post for another day (like after I move out).
So, where am I moving? I'm moving to TheCountry with all the Frogs and Turtles!
Video Hosting - Upload Video - Photo Sharing
This is the smallest frog I have seen out there so far.
Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 11:22 AM | Comments (2)
May 05, 2006
Home Improvement - The Way It Was Meant To Be
Video Hosting - Upload Video - Photo Sharing
Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 09:44 AM | Comments (2)
May 04, 2006
SPF - Wide Open Spaces

It is Friday again, and this time Kristine gave as an assignment that was:
Wide Open Spaces
Room to make her big mistakes
She needs new faces
She knows the high stakes
Oops, sorry. Had a Dixie Chick Moment.
Anyway, this week she wanted to see:
Body of Water - think big or small... it's up to you.

I would have to say this is the most annoying and redundant body of water known to man.
Something with Flavor - yes, another wide open one

An Array Of Flavor!
Plant your Ass - where you park it ...

This is not actually where I park my a$$, but rather this is where my purse ends up when I come home since it is sitting right by the front door.
Didja play?
Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 11:07 PM | Comments (18)
National Language?

Two Iraqi spies met in a busy restaurant after they had successfully slipped into the U.S.
The first spy starts speaking in Arabic.
The second spy shushes him quickly and whispers:
"Don't blow our cover. You're in America now... Speak Spanish."
Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 02:54 PM | Comments (2)
May 03, 2006
FUG And Goodbye
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I just have to say that I am with TxMom on the camouflage stuff. If you aren't in the military, don't wear it, cause its just flat out fugly ok?
Anyway, although I am sad to see her go, I wish I could say that the camouflage was the only thing wrong about this picture.

If you missed this atrocity on American Idol on Tuesday night, there are more pictures here.
Paris, honey, What The Hell? Camo top, red belt, SHINY silver gaucho pants, and are those leopard print high heels you have on? Oh dear dear dear sweet child.
I swear it looks like someone made you a pair of pants from my 1977 bathing suit (see below). This my dear is probably why America decided to send you home tonight instead of Elliot. I was sad to see you go, but at least you wont be providing me with anymore FUG material.
And as a side note... About 1 line into Elliot's second song about "I wanna come home," I was thinking... oh not a good song choice there buddy. Simon thinks he's so smart, but I thought of that line before he did!
And damn it if I can't get that damn "Had a Bad Day" song out of my head.
Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 11:06 PM | Comments (1)
Way Back Wednesday - Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny

Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dotted Bikinis of the past! In celebration of TheKeptWoman's upcoming trip to Mexico lets see all those hot bathing suits of the past! No fair putting up a current shot of you looking hot..or airbrushing...that is also strictly against the rules...

I believe this was around 1977, and I loved that silver bathing suit but not half as much as I loved my aunt's 1976 royal blue Stingray Corvette.

1980 in the backyard of my childhood home. That cute little boy was my 1st boyfriend. DAR and I went to Kindergarten and 1st grade together. He gave me the chicken pox. I haven't seen him since 2nd grade, but I have talked to him via email a couple of times within the past couple of years. He is a High School Band Director in the Dallas/Fort Worth area.

This is my friend SO and I at Sesame Place in Dallas, on my birthday, August 17th in 1983. Why do I remember that? Because that is the day before Hurricane Alicia hit Houston.

Here we are leaving Sesame Place. We were headed back to the hotel to get cleaned up to go eat at my favorite restaurant in the world, BabyDoe's. That night it was so windy in Dallas and it rained so hard, part of the Alicia's force made it all the way up here.

This was my End Of School Party that I had in late May 1986. The trampoline was still a new thing in the backyard and it was a lot of fun when you put the water sprinklers on it.

Doing a FLIP on the trampoline.

Here are two of my oldest friends in the world. We met about the time my parents bought our house in Houston when I was 19months old. JD (standing) was about 3 1/2 when we met and her sister, LR, was about 10 months old.
Did ya play?
Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 02:24 AM | Comments (9)
May 02, 2006
Snail Mail

Let it be known that I am AWFUL about checking my mail. Especially since there is normally nothing in there but bills since my 6 1/2 month unemployment stint between November 2004 and April 2005.
So, today, I decided that since I actually got home from work and errands before the sun went down that I would check my mail. It was full. But there were two fun things in there other than the normal boring and depressing bills!
1) There was the new Pink CD I ordered with the song "Dear Mr. President".
and.. and.. and.
2) There was a card in there from SoozieQ that totally brightened my day! The stamp had that darling darling baby's face on it and the card was a great picture of Moto knawing on Bobo. Too cute!
Thank you SoozieQ!
Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 07:48 PM | Comments (3)
A Conversation Between My Mother and AT&T

Sometime yesterday my grandparent's phone quit working. My mother left them with her cell phone and went home to call SBC (who is now AT&T) to report the outage and request service.
She was directed to an automated system and the conversation went something like this:
AS: Do you have a dial tone on the phone you are reporting as out? Press 1 for yes and 2 for no.
Mom: Press 2
AS: Are you calling from the phone you are reporting as out? Press 1 for yes and 2 for no.
Mom: um?
Press O for Operator.
Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 11:24 AM | Comments (3)
Late As Usual
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Well, I am a total loser and I haven't gone to buy a scale yet. I had totally guessed at my starting weight last Saturday since I didn't have a scale. On Thursday, I dropped by one of those weight loss clinics near work that I had the guy on the radio talk about. I knew before I walked in that I couldn't afford to do their program, but I wanted to check just in case. And, they had a scale.
On Thursday, I weighed in at 8 pounds less than what I had guessed as my starting weight. I know what I weighed last time I went to the doctor, on April 12th, and I had actually guessed 5 pounds more than that. Considering that I had totally picked the wrong time of the month to start a diet, I can understand why I had guessed what I did.
Last Sunday, after I signed up on eDiets, MRF had come to Dallas and went spent the day shopping (and yes, I'm an idiot and forgot to buy a scale at Target). I did get 5 new shirts for work, a pair of shorts and two pairs of capris. I wore the black capris to work today and I could tell that they were not as tight as they were when I bought them. If they had fit this way last week, I probably would have tried on the next smaller size before shelling out the dough.
Since I know what I weighed on April 12th and on April 25th, I am going to use those numbers to adjust my "pounds to go" and "pounds lost this week" and I am going TOMORROW after work to buy a scale.
So, my what I am hereby claiming as my "official" stats for the week of April 22 - April 28 are: 3 pounds lost, 78 pounds to go.
Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 12:02 AM | Comments (3)
May 01, 2006
My Weekend - Part II

Saturday after sleeping darn near all day I made my second trip out to "TheCountry" to visit with MRF, Sunshine (beautiful little 2 1/2 yr old), Ma and Pa. I got there about 7:30 and we grilled pork chops and broccoli and corn on the cob on the grill and then sat outside under the stars and ate dinner.
Sunshine finally went to sleep about 9 and we sat up and watched a couple of movies and then went to sleep. Sunday morning, when I woke up, everyone was awake and I was told that there was 4 racks of ribs in the oven and would be ready for dinner in time for me to get back home at a decent time.
We spent the day sitting outside on the patio at the RecHall. It was an absolutely gorgeous day, not a cloud in the sky and a nice cool breeze. Ma and I sat there and talked about what I was going to cook next weekend when I drive out there. It was so relaxing and such a peaceful day. UNTIL.
There is a little pond that encircles the gazebo and there are three grown ducks and 4 baby ducklings (that are only about three weeks old) that live on that pond. In the pond there are also snapper turtles and meaner-than-hell mutant frogs. MRF has been assigned the job of "DuckSafety" so we got the golf cart and circled around and around and around the pond for hours with a pellet gun. Driving slowly waiting for a head to pop up and then Ready! Aim! Fire!
When he explained to me that we were looking for turtles and frogs to kill with the gun I just about cried. How in the world can you kill an animal like that, I swear Carrie would be disowning me as a blogfriend for cruelty to animals. But then I saw one of the turtles jump up and try to snatch one of the baby ducks and I said give me that darn gun.
I think we successfully kept the Ducks safe from 3 or 4 turtles before dinner was ready. For dinner, the 5 of us had 4 racks of ribs (that were so tender they were falling off the bone) and a large pot full of corn on the cob. After dinner, we went back out on "DuckSafety" duty and Sunshine and I sat in the back of the golf cart watching the ducks while MRF looked for turtles.
There was one big head that popped up and he shot at it two or three times before it finally worked. This time it was a frog and I am kicking myself for not getting a picture of this mutant frog. The frog, stretched out from head to toe was, as tall as Sunshine! I am usually ok around frogs, the Little ones that you see in your backyard from time to time, but when this MutantFrog started moving as if coming back for his cat-like 9 lives, I jumped off of that golfcart so fast and before MRF even had a chance to laugh at me I had Sunshine and I on the couch in the gazebo.
He walked around carrying the MutantFrog for everyone to see and then as he was getting back in the golf cart to take it somewhere away from the pond, the frog leaped out of his hands and took off hopping. MRF said that he was guessing that that frog was probably at least 4 pounds and that today after work he went back out to the pond and shot another one that was even bigger. I told him that he had to get a picture if he shot any more because the Blogland wouldn't believe that I helped shoot a frog that was as big as a two-and-a-half year old.
I left "TheCountry" about 9pm and got back home about 10. It was a nice weekend, I got to go hang out with some cool friends on Friday and then go to "TheCountry" and relax the rest of the time. The only thing that sucked about this weekend is that I had to come home and do laundry before I could go to work this morning.
Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 10:02 PM | Comments (2)
My Weekend - Part I

Yep, this is what you get for Administrative Professionals Week when you work for a liquor company. I would never drink all that so I decided to put it to good use and take it with me for our GirlsNightOut / MiniBlogBlowout / Housewarming party that I attended Friday night.
Friday night after work I drove up towards Mrs.DallasK's side of town and met her, Cara, MommyMe, Buttercup, and TwoMonkeys and a couple of non-bloggers for dinner at La Finca.
And when I said a week ago that I had joined eDiets, I was actually fairly good at dinner. I did have one very weak (hey, it was happy hour, of course it was weak) Margarita and I had quite possibly the absolute best fish tacos I have ever eaten. Perfectly grilled white fish fillet to flake off and build your own tacos with corn tortillas, pico de gallo, and avacado. The jalapeno ranch was on the side for dipping. I brought half of it home and had it for lunch on Saturday YUM!
After the waiter finally brought us our credit card slips and change back we headed over to FootballWidow's new crib where we were greated with chocolate chip cookies, crackers and dip and CPK pizza, and one sweet dog with one heck of a case of laryngitis from howling the past week that they have been in the new house.
We sat outside on the back porch with our glasses full of Dr. Pepper and flavored vodka, under the umbrella and I sat there listening to them talk about their pregnancy/birth stories. Yep, that settles it, no kids for me. I have no idea what time it was when we actually moved the party inside, but it was about 2:30 before we left and I got to drive home. It was nearly 3:30am by the time I got home and in bed and I slept till after 1pm on Saturday.
I'm too old for this.
Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 09:12 PM | Comments (1)
The New Dukes of Hazzard Theme Song:

Just another remake
of a classic tv show
Raping our memories for cash
like a two-dollar ho....
Cast a bunch of lame guys
who aren't manly or butch,
the script was written by
the guy who wrote "Starsky & Hutch"
Make the screenplay about Jessica's tits,
That's the only way anyone's gonna watch this s**t.....
Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 07:57 PM | Comments (0)
Waste Of Space Monday - Talking Head
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My nomination for Waste Of Space Monday, the new game brought to us by Tammy, is this reporter, Siblia Vargas who is interviewing Neil Young about is new album.
The talking head, who stumbled over her first two sentences that came out of her mouth, said "That song called "Let's Impeach the President"; what is this song about?".
Um, yeah. Ok.
Her questions are so completely stupid and you can tell by his answers that he is trying his best to be nice. And her little smirk/smile thing at the end in response to the reporter back at the studio just makes it all the more obvious that she is incapable of hiding her political viewpoints in an interview.
Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at 12:00 AM | Comments (4)









