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November 19, 2005

I Still Miss Him

Ok, I know I'm gonna get hate mail for this one but I had to post something.

Since I started blogging in February, I have seen many people go thru the heartbreak that is losing a pet. Sharkey, RSG.. I know how hard that was for you. I've been there. I lost my beloved Char Cole back on March 6, 2003.

My heart weeps every time I hear about a dog passing because I know how much it hurt and how regardless of how "silly" it sounds to those who have never known that kind of unconditional love from a dog...I still miss him.

What brought on this post? Well, I woke up this morning and opened up bloglines to read 22 new post notifications that were listed. One of them was for Sam and Susie's Blog, sadly announcing that Sam, The World's Ugliest Dog, has died.

As I was reading the announcement that Sam died of Kidney Failure... I had a wave of sadness come over me as that is exactly took my baby Char Cole away from me. Char Cole had been to the vet in August 2002 before he died and as we found out later, his kidney levels were elevated then and the vet didn't tell us anything.

Then in February, Char Cole started having trouble walking.. we had another vet come out and she gave him some medicine for arthritis and he seemed to get a little better. Then about a week before he died he stopped eating and drinking. He wouldn't take anything at all, it was heartbreaking to watch. The last thing that we remember him eating, was he shared a Swanson's Chicken Pot Pie with my mother.

On March 5th, we came home from work and Char Cole hadn't moved all day long. The vet came out and took some blood samples and called with the bad news. His kidney levels were off the charts. We set up an appointment for 11am on the 6th for her to come back and to end his misery and then we moved all the furniture out from the middle of the living room floor and we all laid down on the floor with him.

We always had a hand on him or were touching him, laying next to him... we wanted him to know that we were there. We all slept right there with him all night. About 1am I woke up and he was still there with us, but my dad woke up about 1:30 and he was gone.

Char Cole died on his own before we had to have the vet put him to sleep. As comforting as that was, it didn't help the hurt that we felt for months afterwards. We buried him in the local pet cemetery and we would go visit his grave every Sunday for months.

It was a ritual and it never ceased to bring tears to our eyes. We had gotten Char Cole on Mother's Day in 1988. In August 1992, I left for Baylor. In August 1999 I moved back to the Houston area, but I was still an hour away from home over in Smalltown, Tx. In October 2001, my parents moved to "TheArmpitOfHell".

It was a hard transition for Char Cole to make. He was old, nearly blind and had never lived anywhere else. What made it even worse was that my dad was sent off for training for the first 6 months in the new house. My dad managed to come home once a week for a couple of days but that wasn't enough for Char Cole.. he missed him terribly and would pace around the new house looking for him.

In June 2002, I sold my home in Smalltown, Tx and moved to "TheArmpitOfHell" and back in with my parents. Yes, at 28 years old I was living at home, although I knew exactly what Char Cole was going thru because it wasn't anything close to the home I had always known.

From June 2002 until I moved to Dallas in January 2005, living at home was probably one of the hardest things I have ever done. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents, but that old saying... "you can never go home," is true. It drove me nuts, I prayed and cried to get out of there and out of "TheArmpitOfHell". But I will never regret moving there because I was there for the last 9 months of Char Cole's life.

In November 2003, Zack and Zane came into our lives. It was a hard transition... still missing Char Cole and his laid back nearly 15 yr old ways of doing things... and all of a sudden we had not one but two puppies. It took about 30 seconds for them to capture my heart, but, I am probably the biggest dog lover in the world.

My parents weren't so quick to jump in but I think that they are finally at least part way hooked. In January 2005, I did another hard thing... I left Zack and Zane. I miss them so much I cant stand it. My mother tells me nearly every night about the funny things that they do and I get sad that I'm missing it.

Back a few weekends ago, I went with CricketYank went with me apartment hunting, and I know that I stopped and talked to every dog that we came across. It was almost sad, even to me, to realize that I may need to find a rehabilitation clinic for addiction to dogs. It is Saturday, November 19th and I have 5 days before I go home for Thanksgiving.

I am so excited, I can not wait. Is it because of the turkey? No. The dressing? Blech. The eewy gooey Cranberry Sauce? Yuck. The butternut squash soup I'm going to make? Maybe, but not really. What is it then... its the anticipation of getting to sit down on my parent's lazyboy, and have Zack jump up in my lap and play Patty-Cake with me, while Zane jumps up and falls asleep on my feet. That, my friends, is the closest thing to heaven I can think of right now.

Posted by FutureFoodTVStar at November 19, 2005 10:12 AM

Comments

Posted by: Sharkey at November 19, 2005 11:24 AM

Posted by: SoozieQ at November 19, 2005 01:49 PM

Posted by: Aimee at November 19, 2005 02:07 PM

Posted by: Kami at November 19, 2005 08:02 PM

Posted by: Renee at November 20, 2005 03:30 AM

Posted by: pack of 2 at November 21, 2005 01:21 AM